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Description: The Outpost Magazine features reading streams, turkey articles and music by Blackberry Smoke in this month's edition.

ISSUE XI THE SEEING IS BELIEVING SUNGLASSES REVIEW UTPOST READING STREAMS HOW TO TRICK TOMS TALKING TURKEY RECIPES TAXIDERMY PLUS FACEBOOK FLASHBACK & BLACKBERRY SMOKE ING COMBO AYS A WINN ALW PARTIES & 1.00 COUPON VEC TOR B U T TON S. COM http 5MveCGisXgg http IieVrZhItOw TABLE OF CONTENTS 11 HOW TO TRICK BIG TOM TURKEYS 14 T.O. GOES HOG HUNTING 18 SEEING IS BELIEVING 28 READING STREAMS 25 TURKEY RECIPES 37 A FISH STORY 38 TAXIDERMY 48 FACEBOOK FLASHBACK 53 ROPING A DEER GUIDES THE OUTPOST MUSIC 55 PHOTO OF THE MONTH THE BACK WOODS 56 59 LIKE US ON FACEBOOK 44 Editor s Letter Secondly like a true Zen master trout only need a few things to survive. These are food minimum shelter (to hide from predators) and oxygen. Understanding these three requirements also helps a fisherman to recognize what elements in a stream hold the highest prospect for having hungry and perhaps careless trout lurking nearby. As we note in the story in order for trout to survive there must be 3 parts per million of oxygen dissolved in the water. As the water temperature goes up its capacity to hold oxygen is diminished. If the water temperature rises above 65 F the trout become lethargic because of a lack of oxygen. When the water temperature rises above 75 F the trout can suffocate. Therefore as the temperature gets warmer the trout will congregate in areas of a stream where there is churning water because this action results in an increase in its oxygenation. A savvy stream reader is on the lookout for areas of the stream where water is churning and oxygen is increasing. One of these areas around submerged rocks called riffles where the flowing water is being disrupted by the rocks is the perfect place to drop a well-placed fly because there is a good possibility that there are trout hiding and waiting for a little snack. As you can probably tell from looking closely at the cover of this issue of The Outpost flowing bodies of water have distinct personalities. This will not surprise students of Zen philosophy or fly fishermen. Both groups however understand the caveat to this statement. One must first be trained in the reading of these streams. Flowing water is an often-used as an ancient metaphor for communicating the power of soft over hard and the ultimate triumph of relentlessness over size and strength. Since it is liquid and therefore free-flowing its composition also helps those of us who would otherwise be intellectually flummoxed to partially understand the workings of the human mind. Ideas flow as surely as an ice cold crystal clear mountain stream. Fishing is another popular metaphor for explaining difficult concepts and it is convenient at least for this musing that it also involves water. This is what learned philosophers like to call a double-whammy. There have been hundreds of books (and even one or two good ones) written about how fly fishermen can catch more trout by understanding the nuances of a flowing stream. Accurately reading these bodies of water and catching the trout are based on a couple of givens. First as we note in our cover story trout are smart and make no frivolous moves. While some have noted that these fish are lazy any savvy angler knows that this is patently untrue. They simply minimize their energy expenditure and maximize their caloric intake. Grizzled fishing guides say that these fish like to hide and wait for food to come their way. Understanding this basic concept places an even higher premium on the angler s ability to read a stream. Trout are not the only creatures who need a flowing stream rather than a stagnant body of water in order to live. Eastern medical thought is replete with examples of mental stream reading. Anxiety depression stress and any number of other maladies have been compared to a stagnant mind dead water. One Zen expert wrote When your mind becomes dead water there will be a full stink smell of afflictions. The anxiety and stress will not only adhere to but also grow into thicker and heavier attachments. They will block your thinking and breathing until you become too exhausted to care about them. Just as with a trout stream the only way to improve the quality of the mind s flow is to realize that its movement is inexorable and one must simply go with the flow. The flowing mind will not allow afflictions to stay and grow. Fear sadness stress or other conditions can be seen as the rocks over which the water flows and in the process renews itself. These impediments enable life and are eventually worn down by tiny incremental changes caused by the friction of the stream. In this context the term stream of consciousness has a much more intriguing meaning. We hope you enjoy our story on reading streams plus our features on spring turkey hunting choosing the right sunglasses taxidermy a (very wet) hog hunt and a new feature called Facebook Flashback. As always we d love to hear from you. Tell us how we re doing. My email address is art THE oUTPOST Great articles on weight loss and shotgun patterning in your January issue. Very interesting. Here is a great picture of my son Alex and his 15 inch brook trout on Wesserunsett lake in Madison Maine. Regards John Madison Maine FIELD NOTES FROM OUTPOST READERS ISSUE X THE BLACK BEARS ARE BACK UTPOST This is GREAT I love the videos layout pictures and the content is very good. I think this is better than Garden & Gun. I need to get my two step sons subscriptions. They are HUGE hunters. - Elizabeth Lebanon TN I love everything about your magazine. The music articles fit perfectly. I have tried many of your recipes and they all turn out fantastic. Keep up the good work. - Bob Watertown South Dakota SPRING TURKEY SEASON COOKING HIGH ON THE HOG BOW HUNTING HOGS NOODLING OUTPOST FICTION ICE FISHING Great publication Loved the Turkey article. - Steve Dallas TX PLUS GRAVEL GRINDING & JOAN OSBORNE THE OUTPOST Gorilla Marketing LLC 770-675-7200 Jason Martin Partner Jim Zegers King of the Jungle Art Young Editor in Chief Contributing Writers Art Young Michael Gordon Photo Credits Sandy Earle Jason Martin Kirk Driskell Wayne Gooch Rollins Ronnie Wright Flickr Commons Poot McFarlin Art Young Holt Crowder Gary Mann Sam Bean Michael Gordon National Wild Turkey Federation Rough Rider Gamebirds Taxidermy THE OUTPOST is produced and copyrighted 2013 by Gorilla Marketing LLC Marietta GA 30062. Reproduction in whole or part without permission is expressly forbidden. THE oUTPOST ISSUE II ISSUE II ISSUE III HAVE YOU MISSED ANY ISSUES OF WADE FISHING THE SURF GOING HOG WILD ALL HAIL KING MACKEREL CHOOSING A HUNTING DOG EARL SCRUGGS ONE OF A KIND VENISON RECIPES BASS FISHING THE SPAWN THE NEW LAKE EFFECT ON FISHING WOMEN WITH WEAPONS WILLIE NELSON HEROES HOW TO KEEP A HUNT ING DO G IN SHAP E IN TH E OFFSEA SON HUNTING AXIS DEER CATCHING CRAPPIE CATFISH RECIPES BETTER BANK FISHING WHAT S THE MOST POPULAR FISH They re all waiting for you at our website WWW.THEOUTPOSTMAGAZINE.COM GO AHEAD. TAKE THE SAFETY OFF AND SQUEEZE THE TRIGGER. CAN YOU SWING A SHOTGUN OR CAST A LINE LIKE YOU USED TO PROBABLY NOT Maybe your shoulders and arms are sore. You might need some upper-body rehab. Before your next adventure try this. The all new Stand Up Grinder by Hudson is perfect for the hunter or fisherman whose shoulders and arms have been worn down by repetitive motion. Why go the gym when you can build upper body strength while you re watching the game on TV. Don t let soreness or the onset of arthritis affect your hunting and fishing fun. To shoot better and cast farther order the Hudson Fitness UBE now. Call (888.239.4559) say you heard about Stand Up Grinder in The Outpost and get 600.00 off. You can also click here How to Trick Big Tom Turkeys By Michael Gordon - chefmike57 How many times have we heard the saying three s a crowd It seems no one likes to be crowded or willingly wants to share their space or be disturbed when in pursuit of relationships. Even in nature the saying holds true. Have you ever watched the reaction of a flock of geese feeding in a field They don t tolerate being crowded. Wings start slapping necks extend with beaks snapping and aggressive hisses and honks mark the boundaries to the intruders. This need for some space applies to wild turkeys too. After a long winter and the large turkey flocks begin to separate and form tribal groups the male dominance pattern develops in the jakes as well as the old toms. Strutting fighting and chasing are common scenes in green fields and along wood lines in rural areas. A DIFFERENT TECHNIQUE FOR TALKING TURKEY I came across a technique one spring while hunting turkeys with my fianc . We were set up at the edge of a clover field with our backs along the wood line. Turkeys had been gobbling at dawn across the field in the woods. I ran the usual yelping routine that most turkey hunters use and listened for responses and signs that a gobbler had heard me. 11 We sat down and watched him call for his hens for 20 minutes or so. I wanted to see if he would answer my yelps. I took my mouth call and yelped a string or two. He gobbled and faced us but he didn t move. He just strutted in the afternoon sun and gobbled. THE CONVERSATION BEGINS I tried countless times to get him to move but he stood fast. My fianc used her box call and I yelped but he didn t move. She asked why we couldn t gobble back at him I smiled and said We can. Never thought of it till you said so. We both have gobble calls and use them in the house all the time practicing and joking with each other. We became quite good with them. I said I would move to her right about 25 yards and gobble and after a minute or so for her to gobble with hers. I proceeded to gobble at the tom and he went into a strut and moved a few feet my way and then he gobbled again. I yelped a few times to sound like a hen was here and gobbled again. In the meantime Geri was gobbling off to my left. We double teamed him and he couldn t stand it. That gobbler ran toward us for 30 yards stopping and strutting then trotting on forward. We alternated gobbles and double gobbled again and again. He was coming at us for sure. Too bad it was 3 30 pm Right in front of us bigger than life at 15 yards was a mature big beautiful gobbler. He stopped and strutted staring at the wood line. I know he felt he was duped but he stayed for a minute or two then slowly walked along the edge of the field. I was tempted to fire him up again. I looked over at Geri and gave her a thumbs up. We might be on to something here I said when she finally slipped over to my side. That turkey reacted to the other gobbles with a passion. I knew I could use this tactic again here on this property. We hunt on a private farm and have privacy when hunting. I would use caution any time using a gobble call wherever you hunt. CAN THE DOUBLE TEAM WORK AGAIN The next morning we couldn t wait to get back to the farm. We set up at the bottom of a sloping hay field between two wood lots. Turkey sign was in the field and from experience we knew they liked to roost in the woods. I set out a hen decoy and a Jake 30 yards out. We sat 25 yards apart just as we had done before. That morning passed uneventfully. I had heard a gobbler in the morning hitting it hard from the trees. But as all turkey hunters know sometimes they just go the other way with a sneaky hen leading them on. It became quiet and time was running out. In my state (Ohio) we have to stop hunting at noon. We packed it up and decided we would scout around a bit later in the day. I knew the area held lots of turkeys and I wanted to snoop around and determine their afternoon routine. After an hour or so of stalking around I heard a gobbler in a field below me. I listened as I moved closer to find him. I located the tom strutting alone in the middle of a winter wheat field. He was gobbling and strutting putting on a real show. 12 We let the morning happen enjoying the spring dawn as it unfolded. I yelped a bit to the already gobbling turkeys. I had a gobbler cut me off . I yelped and he gobbled once twice silence. I waited and watched the fields and listened. I was anxious to try my new tactic. It was quiet for an hour when I let loose a gobble. I gobbled again a minute later then cut and yelped. Geri gobbled I gobbled and then he gobbled. We both looked down in the field for the gobbler. Nothing. I knew he was there somewhere. I gobbled again and was surprised to hear him to my left at the edge of the field. This method will work at certain times during the hunt. It s best to wait until the toms are alone and the hens are feeding. Play on the gobblers natural instinct to protect his harem and his territory. He will respond to invading gobblers in his area. Dominant birds are fierce and they will want to drive off another bird moving in. Try this method of double team gobbling next time the toms move off with a hen. Wait till things get quiet. Set up in a good strategic area and begin the invasion. I know you ll have fun. OUTPOST WRITER MIKE GORDON WITH ONE OF HIS TRICKED TOMS We double-teamed him after I gobbled again and Geri joined in. He was coming right up the hill to the Jake and hen decoy. I heard him spit before I saw the white and blue head pop up over the rise. He was on my side and was determined to get to the gobbler on his turf. We watched the show as he spotted the Jake and began to whip him with his giant wing slaps. I clicked my safety off and he stretched his neck out looking for the sound I deliberately made. That was his last memory. I admired the beautiful old tom before I gave him a piggy back ride back to the truck. MAN THE LIFEBOATS The Outpost Goes Hog Hunting Every hunter has experienced this situation. You plan for several weeks or months to be out chasing whatever prey is in season on a given day. You get up early on the morning of the hunt carefully pack every bit of gear you can possibly cram into your vehicle and head to the property where this epic hunt is supposed to take place. If it takes 2 or 3 hours on the road to get there well that s the price of being an outdoor enthusiast You arrive in the general vicinity of the property and notice that all of that rain you were hearing pounding on your roof the previous evening night and morning has been even heavier here. Creeks have become rivers and rivers have flooded farms ranches and hunting properties for 50 square miles. So what We re here. We ve got our guns and gear. So where do we go to find some wild hogs to shoot In the words immortal words of Uncle Si on Duck Dynasty Hey in Nam we had this kind of weather every day. You think we d let a little water stop us from chasing Charlie On a day like the day we re about to show you a man as smart at Uncle Si would have yawned and taken another nap. His last conscious thoughts might have been Boys them hogs don t like to swim. The Places We Go One Saturday morning in late February The Outpost editorial and publishing crew were invited to join the producers and the co-hosts of the Pursuit Channel television show Huntin is Good TV for a wild hog hunt. This gorgeous piece of property consists of about 2 500 acres and is near Roberta Georgia southwest of Macon. As any rock and roll aficionado knows Macon is the birthplace of the Allman Brothers and therefore any land within 50 miles is hallowed ground. 14 The idea was that we would tag along with these TV boys take some pictures hang out at the lodge and eat some wild game cooking and maybe get a shot at some wild pork on the hoof. We should have listened to Uncle Si. It was a tiny bit damp. Let the Hunt Begin Our first clue of the extent of the flooding from the torrential downpour of the previous days was when the pickups which were all in 4-wheel drive mode fishtailed going up and down the rolling hills that took us to the property. The Georgia red dirt was slicker than a politician at a church service. But the omnipotent game warden in the sky was looking out for us and we made it pickups covered in mud but we made it. Our next clue came when we got to the lowwater crossing to get in to the property where we were going to find all those wild hogs. The crossing had been transformed into a HIGHWATER crossing. It was so high that the landowner (who had clearly seen this situation before) came up with a handy canoe to transport all of us across this raging creek. Two of the more intelligent members of the party who had the foresight to bring waders pushed and pulled the canoe loaded with the rest of us (two at a time) and several thousand dollars in video equipment across the River Jordan into the Promised Land. The Next Generation of Hunters As these photos show the best part of this hunt were getting to meet and hunt with the young sons of the two co-hosts and producers of the show. Trey Wetherington brought his boy Treb and Steve Nichols brought his two sons Charlie and Caden. If you ever need a reminder of how important it is for kids to get out and hunt and fish with their dads and moms here it is. HUNTIN IS GOOD TV CREW GUIDE AND SONS http zUiyYqwcPZA TO REGISTER CLICK grand_prize.php These youngsters were smart funny well-mannered and behaved and they knew more about the habits of wildlife than most adults. However they were still kids. So every once in a while somebody was tackling somebody else or getting a little over-enthusiastic about something on TV. When this happened a quiet reprimand from one of the dads got a yes sir from all three boys and peace was restored in about 10-seconds. Mission Accomplished Nobody Drowned By now you ve guessed that the wild hog hunt was not as successful as we had hoped. It s not because we didn t try. We walked all over this property and every trail and road had at least a foot of water and at one point we were wading through knee-high water. The depth of this water had an adverse effect on the rain boots that most of the party were wearing. They were filled with Georgia rainwater. There is a valuable lesson here if it s been raining for two days and possibly flooding pack some waders. In the end we saw one scared and no doubt crazy wild pig scampering off to higher ground. That s it. One crazy pig. Oh and he got away because we were driving. However wet we got and few hogs we saw the trip was still a roaring success. We got to meet some great guys and some of their kids. We had two amazing meals cooked by our host and guide to the property Greg Earls. And we got a day out in the country away from laptops and smartphones. Smart guys like Aldo Leopold nailed it almost 100 years ago when he said Each day I am able to spend in the wilds of God s creation is an improvement over the alternative. Hunting as opposed to merely killing while dealing with the elements of nature is what makes the pursuit of wild game transformative. If this can be shared with a few friends new or old the experience expands exponentially. 17 Seeing is Believing Choosing the Right Sunglasses for Fishing Now go out and get yourself some big black frames With the glass so dark they won t even know your name And the choice is up to you cause they come in two classes... Rhinestone shades or cheap sunglasses Cheap Sun Glasses Billy Gibbons Dusty Hill & Frank Beard 18 With apologies to that Little ol Band from Texas sunglasses come in a few more classes than rhinestone shades or cheap sunglasses. Just ask any fisherman who s trying to decide on a pair. The right pair of sunglasses can make the difference between catching fish and getting a massive headache. Some professional anglers say that they are as important as using the correct rod reel or bait. We ve been checking the fishing forums fishing blogs optical trade magazine and most outdoor sports retailer s websites and have come up with a few brands of fishing sunglasses that consistently get rave reviews from fishing guides and active fishermen. More on that later. But first let s cut to the chase. What are the best sunglasses for fishing It should surprise no one that there is no best pair of sunglasses for fishing. This is one of those Ford Chevy conundrums. The best pickup boat fishing rod or pair of sunglasses is utterly completely and ultimately determined by the person who plans on using them for fishing. There are however a few criteria that should be kept in mind when trying to make this life-changing decision. BLINDED BY THE LIGHT Why not follow the admonition of ZZ Top and grab a pair of cheap sunglasses Hey they re rock n rollers they should know something about sunglasses. Right Nope. A pair of sunglasses that you buy at the Quickie Mart on the way to the lake will drive you nuts prevent you from seeing fish and could lead to serious damage to your eyes. Think about it. You re going to spend hours in the sun whether it s overcast or not and its UV rays have been known to cause serious eye damage. Ophthalmologists have long noted that eyes directly exposed to sunlight on a regular basis can be damaged. Anglers who don t use sunglasses run the risk of getting photokeratitis cataracts or macular degeneration. In non-medical terms constant exposure to the sun can cause blindness. So stay away from the Quickie Mart sunglasses 19 POLARIZED LENS X-RAY VISION The most important criteria for sunglasses for anglers are that they have polarized lenses. These lenses are magical or at the very least they re extremely cool. Why They give the wearer a little taste of x-ray vision. Polarized sunglasses block the sun s glare and other reflective aspects on the water so that angler can literally see through the water down to the bottom if the water is clear enough. Since the most important part of fishing involves putting the bait near an interested (hungry) fish this attribute of polarized lenses is extremely valuable. In addition to revealing the location of fish these lenses will help a fisherman spot riverweed moss tree branches and other debris thereby avoiding getting a line caught on something. Whatever the investment is in a set of sunglasses with polarized lenses when you start calculating the cost of lost lures to unseen debris and the frustration of a slow fishing day it s worth it. 20 19 WHAT S THE BEST LENS MATERIAL There are lots of choices of lens materials. They can be made of glass plastic polycarbonate or something called Hi-Index. There are certainly advantages and disadvantages to all of these materials. Several of the optical websites (i.e. those not geared specifically for fishing enthusiasts) tout the benefits of polycarbonate lenses. Free Vision Info notes For fishing polycarbonate is your best bet. This lens material has all the benefits a fisherman needs 100% protection from UV rays more impact resistant than all other lens materials and it s lighter than plastic or glass. Its only downsides are that it is not as light or as scratch resistant as the Hi-Index materials but its impact resistance exceeds both. While this opinion is interesting and perhaps even compelling the overwhelming sentiment found among the online fishing forums and blogs in other words information that is specifically geared to the avid fisherman is that glass lenses are the superior choice for material. Again this might be one of those Ford Chevy things. The best approach to solving this mini-dilemma is to try on a pair of sunglasses with glass and polycarbonate lenses and see which one feels right to you. GUARDING THAT PERIPHERAL VISION Getting a pair of glasses that keeps out as much light as possible will pay big dividends. Many fishing sunglasses have wrap-around styles that are designed to keep out sunlight from the side. This design helps preclude the distraction of sun glare creeping in as the angler is dealing with the first twinge of a potential bite. Some optical experts also suggest that fishing glasses should have top and side shield lenses to keep out the sun from the peripheral vision. These shield lenses are available in many higher-end sunglass brands. However the wrap-around style mitigates most of this glare and the expense may not be justified. Again the best way to decide is to try on a few pair with and without the top and side shield lenses. WHAT LENS COLOR WORKS BEST Most if not all professional fishermen have multiple pairs of sunglasses each with a different color lens. Aside from the fact that the sunglass manufacturers love this why does someone need more than one pair of sunglasses It s for the same reason that hunters have more than one color type style of camouflage gear...different weather or seasonal conditions demand different colors in gear. In general the color of a fisherman s sunglass lenses should be determined by the type of sunlight or lack thereof during the time the fishing is occurring. There is no one-color-fits-all-situations lens color for fishing because lens colors react differently to different weather situations. Since these glasses are more than a fashion statement ( hey I saw Kenny Chesney wearing a pair of amber sunglasses at his concert... ) it s a good idea to give this some noodling before throwing a couple hundred dollars on some shades. The fishing forums and blogs are all over the road on the best colors for lenses. However if one can get a consensus among the highly diverse fishing nation it seems that many fishermen prefer the amber shades for lens color because they offer a tint that is easy on the eyes. If this a personal preference congratulations you have your lens color. However you may be interested in knowing that amber is actually best suited for cloudy days because it adds color to the monotone gray scenery. Gray lenses are the best for sunny days because they offer a full spectrum of color. Brown is preferable for medium to bright days and yellow is the best color for early morning and late evening when the light is low. Serious fishermen have different sunglasses for all types of weather conditions and the lens color you choose should depend on the type of weather you spend the most amount of time fishing in. THREE MORE TIPS TO CONSIDER There are a couple of other things to consider when buying a pair (or several pair) of sunglasses. Even though it adds some additional expense to the purchase most frequent fishermen prefer having an anti-reflective coating on their lenses. This coating on the back of the lenses eliminates the sun glare when it s behind the angler. Finally don t forget to invest in some safety straps for these expensive glasses. The most common reason sunglasses need to be replaced involves their flying off the sweat-slick head of an enthusiastic angler who has just noticed that a big lunker has decided to take his bait Avid fishermen (who have no doubt lost their share of 200 sunglasses) suggest getting 16-inch or shorter straps that are small enough to grip the back of your neck and help keep them on the angler s face while he s fighting that big one. Floating straps help save the glasses in case they fall into the water and are another good investment. CAN T GET ENOUGH OF THE OUTPOST CLICK HERE TO GO TO THEOUTPOSTMAGAZINE.COM COULD WE HAVE THE ENVELOP PLEASE All of these criteria being noted there are several brands of sunglasses that seem to be favorites of both the serious fisherman and the eye-care specialists. As noted above the best sunglasses for fishing are in the eyes of the beholder. These brands just show up on the fishing forums blog posts and optical industry websites. In no particular order here are some fishing sunglasses that you might want to check out. Expensive each costing 200 Costa Del Mars Phantoms (with 580 lenses) Maui Jims Peahi model Smith Optics Solar Bats Ocean Waves Oakley Revo Guide Bolle Anaconda Sun Cloud Less expensive ( 20 ) but worth checking out Bill Dance Calcutta Ray Ban Aviators 24 THE OUTPOST recipes Spring turkey season is here and with any luck at all your yelping and gobbling will bring some Tom s within shotgun range. Once you ve got him cleaned (no small task in itself) and home it comes time to make that big decision How are you going to prepare this tastiest of wild game Talkin Turkey Believe it or not there are more ways to prepare wild turkey than the way your grandmother cooked it at Thanksgiving. Here are a few and hopefully new ways to share your spring turkey season with the family. Here are a few courtesy of the National Wild Turkey Federation. Wild Turkey Scaloppini Ingredients 1 2 breast from a wild turkey. 1 cup vegetable oil 4 sheets wax paper 1 package Zesty Western Seasoning 1 cup flour 1 teaspoon sage 1 teaspoon garlic 2 slice lemon Directions Slice turkey into 1 2 inch thick slices then place between sheets of wax paper and flatten out with a rolling pin. Cover the sliced breast liberally with Zesty Mountain Seasoning and place on a plate cover and refrigerate for 8 hours minimum. Heat oil in large skillet to medium high. Mix flour garlic and sage in bowl. Dredge the slices of meat through the flour mixture. Cook each side of the breast in the skillet for 30 to 40 seconds. You can serve with any style of pasta or cut into pieces for a great appetizer. 1 2 breast will serve 5 to 6 people for meal or 10 to 12 for appetizer. 25 THE OUTPOST recipes Black Walnut-Crusted Turkey Serve with mashed potatoes and mixed steam vegetables for a healthy summer meal that is sure to please. Ingredients 1 pound wild turkey breast cutlets 1 2 cup oil and vinegar salad dressing 1 3 cup finely chopped black walnuts 1 2 cup fresh bread crumbs 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh chives 1 tablespoon margarine 2 tablespoons olive oil Pound the cutlets with a meat mallet to a uniform thickness. Combine with the salad dressing in a plastic zip-top bag. Refrigerate for six to eight hours. Process the walnuts and bread crumbs in a food processor until finely chopped. Add chives and pulse to blend. Heat margarine and olive oil in a large skillet over mediumhigh heat. Drain cutlets and coat with the walnut mixture pressing the mixture into the cutlets so it will adhere. Place the turkey in the skillet and lower the heat to medium. Cook until golden brown outside and no longer pink inside about four to six minutes per side. Serve immediately. Serves 4 hungry people. Wild Turkey Burritos Ingredients 3 tablespoons olive oil 2 red onions sliced 2 bell peppers (preferably 1 red & 1 yellow) seeded sliced 4 cups diced leftover cooked wild turkey meat 3 4 cup salsa 1 tablespoon ground cumin 1 8-ounce package grated Mexican 4-cheese blend 3 4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 6 burrito-size flour tortillas Preparation Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions and bell peppers saut until tender and golden about 15 minutes. Add turkey salsa and cumin stir until heated through about 5 minutes. Stir in cheese and cilantro season generously with salt and pepper. Remove from heat cover to keep warm. Working with one tortilla at a time heat tortilla directly over medium-high gas flame (or in dry skillet over medium-high heat) until warm softened and browned in spots about 30 seconds per side. Remove from heat. Spoon 1 cup warm turkey mixture along center of tortilla fold sides in over filling then roll up tortilla to enclose filling. Place burrito seam side down on baking sheet and place in oven to keep warm. Repeat with remaining tortillas and filling. Makes 6 servings 26 It s about Time. It s about Certainty. Welcome to 401K ProAdvisor Isn t it about time somebody was firmly focused on improving retirement outcomes How has your 401(k) plan been performing How much commission is your provider drawing from your plan That s where 401KProAdvisors excels because our team of dedicated retirement plan specialists are qualified to provide a comprehensive suite of retirement plan services. Creative Plan Design Customized Education Ongoing Plan Review Plan Benchmarking ERISA 3(21) & 3(38) 403(b) & Pension Consulting To get the whole story call George Richerson at 770.436.4097 or visit Securities offered through Triad Advisors Inc. Member FINRA SIPC. Advisory Services offered through Wealth & Pension Services Group Inc. Wealth & Pension Services Group Inc. is not affiliated with Triad Advisors Inc. THE OUTPOST - READING STREAMS Every Stream Tells a Story 28 Fishermen will do almost anything to gain an advantage over their prey. Billions of dollars a year are spent on high tech equipment to find and catch fish but we all know that guy who consistently catches fish with nothing but a well-worn rod reel and lures and a few flies. What gives here 29 THE OUTPOST READING STREAMS Actually this successful angler probably has something else that most other fishermen don t have knowledge of where fish are likely to be hiding. Some of this comes from experience (partially explaining why old fishermen drive us nuts) and some of it has to do with an angler of any age being able to read a stream. As outdoor writer Dave Hughes has noted in his excellent book Reading the Water most fish are in a small percentage of the water. Every species of fish has its own unique feeding and spawning tendencies and this determines where they are likely to be found at a given time of the day. However trout present some of the most interesting lessons in stream reading and this discussion will focus on them. Blind CaSting RequiReS a Well-Read StReaM Some trout fisherman will not even think of casting a line without seeing the fish first. This allows the angler a better than average chance of plunking the perfect fly in the general vicinity of the fish resulting in a classic tussle culminating in another one in the creel. This strategy is great if one happens upon stream or pool teeming with willing dance partners. However most of the time the trout are not that plentiful and most are doing a good job of hiding and waiting for that easy next meal. When the trout are not visible it s necessary to launch Plan B blind casting. Just as the phrase suggests this is casting a line where you think the fish might be. This judgment is greatly enhanced with some knowledge of how trout navigate the many environments of streams. In other words learning the basics of reading a stream can enable the angler to make better decisions on where the fish are and are not. FiSh don t need MuCh Smart observers such as Hughes and Tom Rosenbauer who wrote Reading Trout Streams and who serves as a consultant to Orvis have succinctly noted the three requirements of every fish food shelter and oxygen. Sure every species of trout (and fish) has a little different tendency towards these three areas. However understanding these three factors will enable a better reading of the stream and more success in catching fish. 30 http watch v bI8SviHawBo THE OUTPOST READING STREAMS It s been noted by more than one aquatic biologist and grizzled fishing guide that trout are basically lazy. Or at the very least they are creatures that like to minimize their energy expenditure and maximize their caloric intake. In other words they won t travel much to chase after a weird looking fly. They position themselves to be in the perfect position to grab tiny insects as they float by. The larger trout such as Browns are much more aggressive in their pursuit of nourishment. They don t hide a wait as much as other trout. They like to feed at dawn dusk and night and are known to forage wide areas for larger prey smaller fish crayfish even a rodent that makes the mistake of falling into the stream and therefore can be caught easier at these times with simple streamers. They can be found in turbulent or calm water and an angler can have good success if these large trout are pursued during these three times of day. The rest of the day some serious stream reading will likely be necessary. even tRout need oxygen Biologists note that for these fish to survive there must be 3 parts per million of oxygen dissolved in the water. As the water temperature goes up its capacity to hold oxygen is diminished. Trout are most active when the temperature is between 50 and 65 degrees fahrenheit. This has to due to their metabolism and the movement of insects food is plentiful when it s nice and moderately warm. However if the water temperature rises above 65 the trout become lethargic because of a lack of oxygen. When the water temp rises above 75 the trout can suffocate. This explains several things. First there are not many if any trout in streams in the Southwest U.S. during the summer. Secondly when the temperature gets warmer the trout will congregate in areas of a stream where there is churning water because this action results in an increase in the oxygenation of the water. A savvy angler will look for these areas in the stream when the water temperature is warmer. ShelteR FRoM the StoRM Nature has supplied trout and all fish with the instinct of survival and this means having a safe place to hide when predators come on the scene. Biologists have observed that when feeding trout will hang out near areas that they can dart to safety. Some of the areas include the undercut of the bank a deep pool or beneath submerged tree branches. These safe areas also keep the current of the stream from constantly buffeting the trout. Since food tends to ride the current the trout seeks to position itself around while remaining out of this current. The bottom of the stream has small and large rocks which serve to reduce the friction of the current making the very bottom almost turbulence free. These dead spots are favored by the trout as they wait for food morsels to pass by. Understanding the signs of these areas in the stream can pay big dividends for the trout fisherman. What S FoR dinneR The need for nourishment is about as basic as it gets for trout and for any trout that is less than 1 foot in length that food is aquatic insects. These insects are found in areas of the stream with high oxygenation and areas where aquatic plants grow. A good read on the stream will enable the angler to locate the above-water signs for these areas of likely food sources. Find the food oxygen and shelter and there s a good possibility that you ll find the fish. So where are some likely places that a sharp stream reader should look WheRe aRe they It s important to remember that reading a stream involves figuring out where the fish are most likely to be and where they are most likely NOT to be. There are clearly exceptions to every rule. It s possible to catch fish almost anywhere and on any given day the fish might not be hanging out in the areas where you would expect them. However most careful stream readers have thoughts about potential hiding spots and more often than not these are based on experience over many streams. SloW going on the FlatS Every stream has an ever-changing current terrain and slope. The area of the river or stream that stretches through a flat terrain and has water flowing over it with the same flatness is called (appropriately enough) the flats. While it is possible to find fish here these are some of the most unproductive areas of the stream for a fisherman. Why 32 Forward to a Friend A bird in the hand... is worth two in the bush. If you know someone who enjoys getting their hands dirty while pursuing bobwhite quail whitetail deer wild turkeys largemouth bass feral hogs and every other species of wild game why not FORWARD this issue of The Outpost to them It s easy. They ll enjoy reading it. And they might even give you a hand. THE OUTPOST RippleS oF RiFFleS Whether you ve known the name or not you ve seen riffles on a stream. They are shallow and fast and result in choppy water on the surface. They occur because the stream is flowing over medium-sized rocks and causing this mini-whitewater effect. Because of the rocks on the bottom and the high level of oxygen being generated from the churn these riffles are great places to find small and medium sized trout. A smart stream reader will look for the pockets of still water found in these riffles. This is where a larger stone is submerged and there is a change in the current. This is where the fish will likely be holding and a well-placed fly can find its way to the trout s mouth. There is also a productive fishing area on the edge of a riffle a seam where the water is moving slower. Trout will often hang out in this area as well. angling the Run That area of the stream at the end of a riffle is called a run and it can be a honey hole when the right fly hits the right spot. This area can be shallow (1 or 2 feet) to moderately deep and has smaller boulders that offer excellent cover for lurking trout. The best fly placement tactics to place it in front of and behind the submerged rocks. There will also be dead spots and places of turbulence in these runs caused by submerged rocks and these are great places to find fish. If the run continues around a bend in the stream the current will be faster on the outside of the bend. Guides say that this area is not a good place to find fish. However on the inside of the bend where the current is slower is an excellent place to find fish. The bank area of this run is also a prime area to find trout that are hiding and waiting. aRe the Big tRout in the poolS Pools are formed by fast water and a steep slope. This is where the stream slows down dramatically and the stream widens and deepens. The most common opinion is that these pools hold a treasure trove of large trout. However not all guides believe this is true. The depth of the flats is shallow and bottom is composed of gravel rather than larger rocks. This part of the stream also moves slowly discouraging much insect life. This lack of food and protection is a major turn-off to the trout population and there s not much action in this part of the stream. it S BetteR neaR the BankS A little patience can pay big dividends when the angler works the bank areas especially if it happens to be an overhanging bank. The undercut area of a bank is an excellent hiding place for a trout and if there are trees and bushes growing in this area making for a little shade and cooler water temperatures all the better. Areas just in front and immediately behind the boulders on the bank are great holding areas for trout. There are often drop-offs in this area by the bank resulting in dead areas or at least slower water where trout can wait for food. Casting upstream and allowing the fly to travel with the current can be very effective. THE OUTPOST READING STREAMS One popular tactic for working the pools is to run a streamer through the water especially if it happens to be the times when the large trout are feeding (dawn dusk and night). Guides also suggest fishing the head of the pool and the banks near the pool. don t FoRget the poCket WateR Another part of the stream to be aware of is called pocket water. This comes about when a group of large boulders and rocks are blocking a swift running stream and white caps of rushing water are evident. While it seems that this fast current would deter trout there are pockets of still water behind these boulders near the bottom of the stream and trout will often be found at the farthest point of this calm water from the bolder. As in all cases the most productive place in this pocket water is in the seams. Find them and you will likely find a fish waiting for a little snack. Reading StReaMS a liFelong endeavoR These insights about reading a stream are literally the tip of the submerged rock in the stream. There are many great books that have been written about this subject some of which we have mentioned here. As Rosenbauer noted in his classic book Reading a trout stream is more than looking at the currents on the surface. A canoeist reads currents learn- ing to avoid rocks beneath the surface or predicting how a sharp bend in the river will influence the course of his or her craft. Yet an accomplished canoeist will only be a hair better than the average person in predicting where trout will be found in a stream. To read a stream you need an understanding of a trout s life history behavior and requirements for survival. Like great literature reading steams is a lifelong endeavor. Each book and stream is just a little different and the joy lies in relishing this fact. 36 A Fish Story In the middle of a Montana summer the icy water of Onion Creek was cold and razor sharp. Back home it was 106 degrees. Brown trout are wary perspicacious really only striking if the proffered bug is consistent with the hatch that nature had supplied that morning. Plus the presentation must be perfect. The sum total of millions of years of evolution surviving as the fittest - this fish s small brain is large enough to derisively ignore any amateur s ham-handed casts. Reading these streams for the hiding places of browns is complicated. With no Cliff notes footnotes liner notes or musical notes the confused angler is a toddler in quantum physics class... cute but way out of his depth of knowledge. Advantage brownie. A dozen casts later the fly finally finds a hiding place of Mr. Brown. He s stationed himself a secret spot in a little private pool where the water rushes over some rocks and dumps delicious morsels to him in his new-found diner. Below these rocks it s easy pickins for this gourmand of grubs. Whoops. Well hello there. What s that It looks a little strange but who doesn t like a little strange once in a while I think I ll grab that. What could it hurt the trout asked himself. Pop. The hit was undeniable to the angler. Adrenaline gushed through every capillary. Just set the hook play it cool and get this brownie in the net the angler said to nobody in particular. The rod bent over as the brown trout took off like a rocket. It seemed like hours but it was only a few minutes. The fight between man and nature ended in a draw. Man What a beautiful fish Come here little buddy. Let me get that hook out of you. There you go. Now you have a good day and stay away from strange flies. The trout was back in the water and out of sight in seconds. Lesson learned. Then there was only a cool wind blowing over Onion Creek and the soft riffling sound of water rushing over rocks. THE OUTPOST FICTION LIKE THE OUTPOST ON FACEBOOK FOR A CHANCE TO WIN GREAT PRIZES 37 THE OUTPOST TAXIDERMY Remembering the Adventure The Art of Taxidermy I ve never been a big fan of taxidermy until a couple of years ago. As a youngster I remember one of my uncles had a few whitetail deer heads mounted and hung on his living room wall and I always thought their eyes followed me everywhere I went in the room. Being a jokester and realizing that these deer creeped me out he made up stories about how they came to life at night and went into the kitchen to get some blackeyed peas and cornbread. I always wondered how they walked what with only being a head and all. Later whenever I saw a deer duck or giant marlin mounted on somebody s wall I just thought it was dumb. Who cares Wasn t getting out in the field or water and harvesting these fish and animals enough Why put some kind of stuffed replica up on the wall My disdain or deep-seated fear of black-eyed pea-eating deer was finally changed when my buddy Jeff killed the biggest Axis deer I have ever seen on our family farm in Central Texas. I had killed one earlier in the year and on a second trip to our place we had been talking about how interesting looking these deer are. They have a reddish coloration black dorsal stripe and white spots on their backs. They are much bigger than the whitetail deer we normally see. 38 After initially shooting this deer Jeff had to track him for another two hours. We don t have time nor the superlatives necessary for the complete story of this chase but it suffices to note that this deer was the toughest most valiant animal either of us have ever seen. Jeff will be telling this story about that deer when he s 100 years old Finally we got him down and walked over to get a closer look. He was massive as Axis usually are about 250 to 300 pounds and had huge head with antlers that were 3 to 4 feet tall On the way to the processor in town Jeff looked over to me and asked So you lived here your whole life you know any good taxidermists I answered no but didn t get into the reason for this. I figured he didn t need to know about any tales of black-eyed pea and cornbread eating mounted deer. I then asked him stupidly in retrospect - why he wanted to mount this deer head. He looked at me incredulously. You know the look. It s the one that says what planet do you live on boy For the next 30 miles we chatted about how this massively beautiful deer had fought for his life for hours and hours. How we tracked him until we were exhausted. And how amazing his antlers truly were. Then it hit me. Looking at this head and these antlers and showing them to people who weren t on the hunt will bring back this amazing experience every time they re seen Jeff wanted to preserve that incredible experience he had in the field and getting them mounted by a taxidermist was the best way to do this. A BRIEF HISTORY The art of taxidermy goes back a long time. Pre-historic humans tanned the hides of animals to preserve them to be used for making clothing and coats. Plus embalmed animals have been found with ancient Egyptian mummies. These early specimens were not crafted with any flourish just preserved in the same way as King Tut. By the mid-18th century most cities had at least one tannery which turned cowhide and other skins into useable raw materials for bags coats gun holsters belts and the like. Early taxidermy consisted of these tanneries taking hunting trophies of sportsmen and stuffing them with cotton. Taxidermy came into its own and became immensely popular in the early 20th century. As online reference site Wikipedia notes (taxidermy) artists such as Carl Akeley James L. Clark William T. Hornaday Coleman Jonas Fredrick and William Kaempfer and Leon Pray developed anatomically accurate figures which incorporated every detail in artistically interesting poses with mounts in realistic settings and poses that were considered more appropriate for the species. This was quite a change from the caricatures popularly offered as hunting trophies. WWW.theoutpoStRadio.CoM 39 THE OUTPOST TAXIDERMY THE RIGHT STUFF There are several methods for preserving the animal. The simplest method involves skinning the animal without opening the body cavity. Depending on the type of skin preserving chemicals are applied or the skin is tanned. The skin is then either mounted on a mannequin made from wood wool and wire or a polyurethane form. Clay is used to install glass eyes. These forms and eyes are commercially available and in some cases taxidermists carve or cast their own forms. Another more elaborate and therefore expensive process involves freezing the specimens for later use. The taxidermist then removes the skin to be tanned and measurements are made of the remaining body. Some old school taxidermists employ a method that retains the original skull and leg bones of a specimen and use these as the basis to create a mannequin made primarily from wood wool and wire. Another method is to mold the carcass in plaster and then make a copy of the animal. A final mold is then made of polyester resin and glass cloth from which a polyurethane form is made for final production. After these molds are created the carcass is then removed and a form is made by sculpting the animal in clay. There are several taxidermy supply companies that produce stock forms in various sizes. Glass eyes artificial teeth jaws tongues and for some birds artificial beaks and legs are then added to the display. WHAT TO LOOK FOR So how does a hunter or fisherman ensure that he gets a quality mount of his one-of-a-kind treasure This can be tough since most outdoorsmen don t know much about taxidermy and the processes thereof. However anyone who has spent time hunting and fishing DOES have a notion of what a real live animal fish or bird looks like in the wild. If not taking a few photographs of the downed animal before taking it to the taxidermist can help clarify the color and personality of the animal to be preserved. The best advice is to use this knowledge and photos to evaluate the other work of the taxidermist being considered for the job. Also some taxidermists have large studios and working environments and some work out of a little shed in the back of their home. Size of facility does not necessarily translate to taxidermy expertise nor does have a quaint little place where a few old codgers are sitting around shooting the bull. In the case of entrusting your trophy to a taxidermist you are hiring an artist. This means you should look at his or her work talk about their experience with the species you are considering being mounted and ask for recommendations that you might call. The local wild game processors and hunting guides are also good sources for references of taxidermists. When looking at the taxidermist s previous work there are a few things to check closely. Check the eyes. If these are weird the entire mount will be weird. They shouldn t appear to be bug-eyed or sunken in the head. Look at the tear ducts. Is there too much paint Look at the corners of the eye. Do they appear lifelike or do they have too many gaps. Here are an examples of some taxidermy gone wrong 40 http zUiyYqwcPZA TO REGISTER CLICK grand_prize.php THE OUTPOST TAXIDERMY In the case of large animals such as deer antelope or rams there are other considerations. The hairline should be properly placed around the ears. Check to see if the ears are placed too low and look for excessive rolls of hide around the ears. Take a look at the mouth of some of the examples of the taxidermist s work. If they are funky for example if the animal appears to be smiling back at you this suggests a problem in craftsmanship. Finally check the hairline stitch on the back of the mount. It should be smooth combed flat without noticeable gaps. TROPHIES The NFL has the Lombardi Trophy and the National Hockey League has its Stanley Cup and we ve all seen the victorious teammates raising it above their heads for their delirious fans to cheer about. Outdoor sports are highly individualistic contests. There are no plays and very little teamwork involved. Hunters and fishermen have their own trophies. These mark an event and an experience. These trophies represent a time when the individual realized success over all natural elements and they deserve a position of prominence. w w w. ro u g h r i d e r gam ebi m 42 THE OUTPOST MUSIC The Whippoorwill Blackberry Smoke 44 http watch v q2EAwhX8Uw8 AN OVERNIGHT SENSATION THAT TOOK 13 YEARS By definition hard core southern rock fans are well hard core. They re not easily fooled by prefabricated flavor-of-the-month bands or artists and they most assuredly do not suffer fools well. This collection of fanatics made Lynyrd Skynyrd rich and famous and given this it is very telling that this nation loves Blackberry Smoke. After starting out in 2000 this Atlanta based group has worked its butt off on the road and this living out of the bus and everything that this entails comes through loud and clear on their new collection of tunes entitled The Whippoorwill. As one Amazon reviewer aptly noted Every one of these songs are great. There are no fillers. MEET THE BAND Blackberry Smoke consists of Charlie Starr (Lead Vocals Guitar) Richard Turner (Bass Vocals) Brit Turner (Drums) Paul Jackson (Guitar Vocals) and Brandon Still (Keyboards). The rhythm section sounds like they started playing together in the second grade. It s that tight. The songs range from rock n roll to country to jam band and they are all like a good George Jones song ragged but right. The band has performed as both headliner and as the supporting act for artists such as ZZ Top and Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Zac Brown Band. Having one of the best ears in the business and liking what he heard convinced Brown to sign these boys up on his Southern Ground label. He also produced The Whippoorwill and he s obviously just as good pushing the buttons as he is performing on stage. The production is pitchperfect. 45 PRETTY LITTLE LIE At the risk of repeating the obvious The Whippoorwill has no bad cuts. They all reflect a little different side of the guys who are performing them. Everybody Knows She s Mine is one of those songs that needs to be on the juke box in every bar in America and anyone who grew up in a town with one or two traffic lights will identify with One Horse Town. The first hit from the collection touches all of the bases. The chorus has a monster musical and lyric hook the vocal is absolutely heartfelt and the lyrics are perfect. There s a box of wine in the fridge... We won t talk about what s his name. Cross every t and dot every i ...of your pretty Little Lie. This song Pretty Little Lie is in the heavy rotation on the TV music channels and Americana radio station and every day it stays there millions more fans discover the style and swagger of Blackberry Smoke. Download or buy this CD. You ll never take it out of the player. 46 THE oUTPOST ISSUE II ISSUE II ISSUE III HAVE YOU MISSED ANY ISSUES OF WADE FISHING THE SURF GOING HOG WILD ALL HAIL KING MACKEREL CHOOSING A HUNTING DOG EARL SCRUGGS ONE OF A KIND VENISON RECIPES BASS FISHING THE SPAWN THE NEW LAKE EFFECT ON FISHING WOMEN WITH WEAPONS WILLIE NELSON HEROES HOW TO KEEP A HUNT ING DO G IN SHAP E IN TH E OFFSEA SON HUNTING AXIS DEER CATCHING CRAPPIE CATFISH RECIPES BETTER BANK FISHING WHAT S THE MOST POPULAR FISH They re all waiting for you at our website WWW.THEOUTPOSTMAGAZINE.COM GO AHEAD. TAKE THE SAFETY OFF AND SQUEEZE THE TRIGGER. 47 The Outpost Liked The Oupost - January 19 The Outpost Facebook Flashback posts Every day we post something funny weird silly brilliant or inspirational on The Outpost Facebook page. We like to think of it as a daily slice of life outdoors. You can get this must-have information in your very own Facebook feed by simply LIKING our page. Just click here (put a link to TO Facebook LIKE button) Here are some of the posts that you may have missed. Best wedding cake ever 48 The Oupost - January 22 The Oupost - January 28 Piece of cake right Nothing like a little rattlesnake in the lake Click Here for video http Ygk82f The Oupost - February 1 Swing set doubles as a deer blind The Oupost - January 24 Duck s Unlimited photo contest winner The late night talk shows should have fun with this. BTW. Putting out decoys and hunting ducks that land in the backyard swimming pool is also a bad idea. SWING SET DOUBLES AS ILLEGAL DEER BLIND Bell County Game Warden Brandt Bernstein received two reports of a person hunting deer near a housing subdivision and on another s property. One caller said a shot was fired and he believed the shot hit. Wardens Bernstein and Wilson responded to the area and a deputy with Bell County had stopped two men walking down the road with a gun. The wardens separated the two males and interviewed them. Warden Bernstein s suspect admitted to shooting a deer that night and they were going to look for it when stopped by the deputy. Bernstein arrested the male for hunting white-tailed deer at night from a swing set in his back yard. Wilson s suspect also admitted to hunting deer several times at night from the swing set and killing several deer. Wilson s suspect was also arrested. Cases pending. Do you like to hunt whitetail deer The Oupost - February 7 The Oupost - February 21 As a public service Outpost presents tracking guide 10 Suprising Celebrity Deer Hunters Click Here for story http TY3pdw The Oupost - February 13 Duck Duck Goose The Oupost - February 26 As spring gets closer Click Here for video http ZLB23x Yup. There s an app for that The Oupost - February 28 The Oupost - March 22 Anybody know the chords to You ain t nuthin but a hound dog The Oupost - March 2 Looks like a good day to get out and drive So have you determined that you can t live without this hilarity All you have to do is LIKE our page and get your slice of life outdoors every day. Need some incentive to give us your attention OK. That s fair. If you re in the first 500 people to LIKE The Outpost Facebook page in the next month you will be registered to win a Blacktop Grill. We will randomly draw the winner on May 15 2013 so don t wait. LIKE The Outpost Facebook page now. Click Here for video http 10R6lxn LIKE THE OUTPOST ON FACEBOOK FOR A CHANCE TO WIN GREAT PRIZES Rural tv Saturdays at 12 30 pM (eSt) RFdtv Saturdays at 4 00 pM (eSt) Mondays at 7 00 aM (eSt) Seen on Cable directv 604 and diSh 240 thurs 7 00pm Sun 2 30pm Fri 1 00pm all eSt HOW TO ROPE A STEER... ERRRRR...A DEER THE OUTPOST FUNNY STUFF I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer put it in a stall sweet feed it on corn for a few weeks then butcher it and eat it. Yum Corn-fed venison. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. Since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not have much fear of me (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck four feet away) it should not be difficult to rope one toss a bag over its head to calm it down then hog-tie it and transport it home. I filled the cattle feeder and hid behind it with my rope. The cattle having seen a roping or two before stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After 20 minutes my deer showed up 3 of them. I picked a likely looking one stepped out and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me but you could tell she was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step toward it. It took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education. The first thing I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it it is spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with some dignity. A deer No chance. That thing ran and bucked it twisted and pulled. There was no controlling that deer and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground it occurred to me that having a deer firmly attached to a rope was not such a good idea. The only upside is that they do not have much stamina. A brief ten minutes later it was tired and not as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me. It took me a few minutes to realize this since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point I had lost my appetite for corn-fed venison. I hated the thing and would hazard a guess that the feeling was mutual. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. But if I let it go with the rope hanging around its neck it would likely die slow and painful somewhere. Despite the gash in my head and several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer s pell-mell flight by bracing my head against large rocks as it dragged me across the ground I could still think clearly enough to recognize that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn t want the deer to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up between my truck and the feeder a little trap I had set beforehand like a squeeze chute. I backed it in there and I started moving forward to get my rope back. Did you know that deer bite They do I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab hold of that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now when a deer bites you it is not like a horse it does not just bite and let go. A deer bites and shakes its head like a pit bull. They bite HARD and won t let go. It hurts The proper reaction when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and wrenching away. My method was ineffective. It felt like that deer bit and shook me for several minutes but it was likely only several seconds. Reader Andy says Roping a deer (or grabbing a wounded deer by the horns) may seem outrageous but it has been done And the deer don t like it at all. This kind of foolishness happens frequently. How do I know I live in North Central Montana and I tried to rope a deer myself once but I missed. Thankfully. Deer are savage animals when trapped. I being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I learned my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up and strike at head and shoulder level and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned long ago that when a horse strikes at you with its hooves and you can t get away the best thing to do is make a loud noise and move aggressively towards the animal. This will cause it to back down a bit so you can make your escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer. Obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and turned to run. The reason we have been taught NOT to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer are not so different from horses after all other than being twice as strong and three times as evil. The second I turned to run it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. When a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately depart. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What it does instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. Now I know why people go deer hunting with a rifle and a scope. It s so they can be somewhat equal to the prey. PHOTO OF THE MONTH THE OTHER FALL TRADITION For 39 years we have been keeping the Bird Hunting tradition alive by producing lasting memories at the Plantation. Explosive coveys outstanding dog work and up-scale accommodations are available just one hour east of Atlanta. Season runs Oct. 1- March 31 Come just once and you will be a customer for life 1161 Blackwell Rd Newborn GA 30056 (706) 557-0407 TRAVEL - CLASSIFIEDS - GUIDES Waynesville North Carolina TO ADVERTISE CALL GORILLA MARKETING AT Desperate Duck Hunters Tony Eckler Owner Operator Lebanon TN 615.210.9268 We are On Call for spur of the moment trips but to reserve dates you must book your hunts in advance 770-675-7200 OR EMAIL AT THE-OUTPOST COMCAST.NET 59 WWW.GEORGIAALLIGATORHUNTING.COM (229) 251-9929 http watch v c_8EQF5LDKk Do you have a funny hunting or fishing picture Do you have a joke that everyone should hear Email them to art ING COMBO AYS A WINN ALW PARTIES & 1.00 COUPON VEC TOR B U T TON S. COM